Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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