There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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