YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
