Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
being pregnant is like rehab
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
