so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize