She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
