You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
