I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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