I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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