As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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