So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
