Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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