it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
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Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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