Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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