Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
