Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize