This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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