i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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