my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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