Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize