My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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