i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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