Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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