Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
