I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
