We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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