just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I want to fling myself into the sun
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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