I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
