A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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