She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
