So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
