Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
