You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
