I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
