she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
