Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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