that's an acceptable place to lick
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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