my shit smells like andre
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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