I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
