Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
