Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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