god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
