Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
