Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
