I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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