I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
