I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
