What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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