Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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