i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
