Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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