Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize