Since when is my name a synonym for head?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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