So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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