He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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