I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
